Desperately Seeking... Normal

…when I get a text at 6:45am saying that we’re officially closed for the day.  

Snow day!!  Woohoo!!  :)

Subject:

Are you tired of tiresome rendezvous instead of passionate bang?‏

So am I but with this site I’m having sex with 10 different chicks a month.
Come and try out for yourself and you’ll see how many
hot rosebuds search for sex while their hubby is out.
The site is just for people like us
who are tired of looking at the strange faces and just seek for bang.

I’m totally intrigued….. for the not bang.

I don’t know if I am attempting to sabotage my relationship, or if the depression of the winter months is just getting to me, or if I’m still super messed up from that guy who played me and made me look dumb (which happened around this time of year), or what……………. but I am super paranoid that my boyfriend is going to break up with me.  Or he’s cheating on me.  Or he’s found someone better.  

Do I really think he’s cheating on me?  No.  He’s almost always with me.  There are no secret phone calls.  No giddy texting when we’re together.  No signs of that.

And, I think if he were going to break up with me, he’d just do it already.  

So, I have to stop this.  I’m almost to the point of obsessing over it… and I have to stop.  I need to be my fun, smiley self, and leave the worrying behind.  

I think I just really miss the way it was the first couple of months.  The excitement over just being able to talk to me on the phone.  The big smile when I’d walk through the door.  The talks about what he wanted to do with our future.  

Tonight, as we talked on the phone, I asked him when he wanted me to come back over.  His response was to ask me when I wanted to come over.  And to tell me that I had a key.  Nothing wrong with that answer…. Except that I’m weeping over the fact that he didn’t say, “Tonight.  Right now.”  

Somebody tell me that this is normal, please.  That, after eight months, some of the cuteness fades… and that’s okay.  Please?

Subject:

Me and my best roommate by the sea-side playing little mermaids‏

Message:

Hello, stallion! The weather was dull and gloomy yesterday,
and many dudes spent their weekend at home frying sausages in their gardens.
But my bad roommate and I went to the beach for having fun in the wash waves.
The beach was totally desolate, that is why we made a wonderful bare skin photoset of two Little mermaids.
I have just uploaded best pics for you here!
Visit my profile and contact me online in a chat – we shall talk about some piquant points.

I thought I was pretty hip with the sexual innuendos, but I may need you guys to explain to me exactly what “frying sausages in their gardens” means. Maybe I’ll Urban Dictionary it.  ;)

…changing the theme of my blog…

…because the subjects of my spam emails are just so ridiculous, that they always make me laugh, and I feel like they need to be shared.  

Example:

Hi, mighty cowboy. I am expecting to meet you online‏

If I ever need a pick-up line in the future, I think this might be it.

…how YOU doing?

Awesome!  That’s how it’s doing!  ;o)

Giddiness erupts…

In life outside of my world………  Hope December is finding you all well!

…I’m supposed to be busy doing stuff this morning… but, once again, tumblr has sucked me in….

Just thought I’d pop on and share a quick online dating story.  Not that I’m doing any online dating at the moment because Match actually has seemed to have proven itself for once… but, none the less, online dating stories are still happening.  

So, about a month or so ago, I’m sitting next to my boyfriend, at his place, checking my email.  I see an email that I just know is from a Match guy.  I read it, and it says something to the effect of, “hey where’s those daily sexy pics I used to get?”  Only, with even less proper grammar.  (I can’t tell you exactly what it said because I showed it to Mike, and he was half joking and half seriously like, “Are you cheating on me?” Sometimes I can’t read his fake indignation.  So, I deleted the email real quick… and now it’s gone. And blocked the email address.) 

Anyways………. What?!  Nooooo…..  That NEVER happened. What is wrong with these guys?!

Curiosity got the best of me, and I looked up the email address to find out who sent it.  And I realized it was this guy, who has no email etiquette whatsoever.  To add to my last post about him, our emails ended like this:

Me:  (I can’t help but try to be nice.)  ”Well, I didn’t mean that my weekends are booked with dates…. just with my busy life. :o) And I will let you know if things ever work out. Best of luck to you!!”

Him: “That fine I only paid to use this to talk to but I wasn’t really look for nebody but good luck if ur interested. N being friends I would like that.”

LOL!!  What?!  

…since I last stopped by to visit you guys.  Sorry for being an asshole.  Wonder how many followers I have left?  I should check that… maybe….

Anyways…

I have a horrific online dating story to tell you all, but I only have time for one story today, and that one will have to wait…

…because today is my 6-month anniversary with the boyfriend, and I’d rather talk about that!!  :o) 

However, sticking with my roots of this being a blog about my adventures in online dating, I thought I’d share with you the first email I ever got from now-boyfriend.

Hi there W******
Your smile is electric :)

And that was it.  Yup.  That’s what did it for me.  It’s okay, I’m a little embarrassed for myself.  

But hey, sometimes you just get a feeling about something and you gotta’ give things a chance.  And I am so glad I did!  So, for any of my online dating followers, here’s my advice…. Go with your gut.  What worked for me [completely giving up and resigning myself to the fact that I was going to be alone forever and needed to be okay with that] may not work for you.  Just don’t settle!  But how will you know?  You’ll just know.  Things will click, and you’ll say, “Ohhhh…. I get it.”  

Hope life is going well for you guys!!  Think of you often…

…complain to yet another social outlet and tell you all that I have poison ivy.  Yes.  For three weeks now.  And it just keeps spreading.  I’ve been on steroids for over a week now.  And it is still spreading.  It just keeps on creeping north, and I’m afraid it’s headed for my face.  I got a double shot of steroids today at the doc and another round of steroids.  Let me tell you, they suck.  I started off all draggy and tired, and now I’m all annoyed.  ’Roid rage comin’ right up.  

And, wow… it said “increased appetite” was a side effect… but, whoa.  You should see the food I’m packing away.  Last night, I made this big chicken breast, and pretty much half a box of noodles.  I put half of the meal away as leftovers.  Except, when I got done eating my share, I wasn’t even near full.  So, I ate the rest.  So far this evening, I’ve eaten half a take-out container of hummus and chicken, plus bread and garlic sauce; a giant hot dog, sundae and soda from the Sam’s Club food court; 4 Oreos; and some candy corn…. and I’m not even full yet.  

Whoa.

You guys have got to be some of the greatest people on the planet! 

And that’s legit!